Pick up as you go

How can you love the job you were just forced to do because of the bills.  I don’t know how, but I eventually did.  My job now was just a necessity and I took it at the last minute because I was going to be kicked out of the apartment in two weeks.  I don’t really want to borrow much money as I have this big fear of borrowing money which I know I’ll pay on installment.

How did I managed to love this job I have now,  the people.  My work colleagues made it bearable and made things good.  I saw the light and realized there is actually growth here and I can eventually shift to other jobs with the skills I am learning in this job.  So there, the people around you makes the difference.

After my closest friend spilled our little secret, I’ve given it a thought and I concluded, what the heck? What if mom knows it now?  I have changed my old ways. Everyone makes mistakes and I am an adult now.  It’s just that my mom is really a father and a mother to me, literally.  Sometimes, ok, most of the time, she was more of a fatherly figure to me, maybe because she thought I need a father presence. But I’ll still go home this weekend and I know she’ll understand.

Now at work, I think someone’s also trying to play games. I heard whisperings of me being demoted and I don’t know now who to trust my thoughts.  I now FULLY realize we have no one to trust but ourselves.

So I’ve been hard at work, accepting people for consultation sometimes even beyond office hours. I like my job, but it can get tiring. Its just that you can’t exactly let people down especially when they beg for your help.

If I had it easy, I wouldn’t even want to charge. Its like paying my mother for rent or something to that effect. We all know how bad that sounds. But we have to face the facts, I need to sustain myself in all ways possible.

Apparently, the stats - as far as my counseling sessions are concerned - have changed only but slightly. Majority of them are couples who wish to work their differences out with their partners. Sometimes I tend to think of telling them that I, by default would not know better except that I’ve read enough books to understand things.

I only base it on the fact that more than half of these couples have personal ordeals that make them react a certain way to their partners. I keep reminding myself that though I shouldn’t even put any more effort into it after all these years we forget at one point, and that we need to be reminded of how things ought to be.