I am surprised by the many times I’ve seen hits on some internet sites that need ratings on their looks. My niece was a victim of this very sad trend. She said this was all some girls at school ever talked about. Gathering votes on their looks night and day and getting into groups seeking approval for their physical appearance.
A parent came to me years ago because her daughter had been affected by a similar incident. The daughter had skin asthma so she had scabs when she first entered school. Sometimes, children can really be mean, but you never really know who to blame, in some instances. Apparently, one of the more popular girls at school started whispering to her friend about the daughter of my one-time client, and then started becoming more verbally abusive only because she did not fit in the way most girls at school did.
I believe this to be very traumatizing on the part of the parent and the child both. Imagining them having to live up to that and growing up with that kind of condition and other children not understanding the situation can really do your self-esteem some serious harm. The child later on decided to just stay home and not continue going to a regular school. She’s very lucky to have parents who can afford to put her through home schooling because of this incident. But what about others who cannot afford to find a solution to some problems?
I couldn’t help but feel sorry for the child, but at the same time I wanted her to at least try harder to resist what some kids could do all for approval and social reassurance, but she insisted that she stayed home with her mother. Then again, what’s a mother to do but to listen to her child. Sometimes we can only do so much to protect our children, so we really have to make them experience some things that will help them face the inevitable when the future comes, but often we are thrown off-guard by the circumstances that we mistake to be threatening enough to actually make a bigger mistake cutting all ties with the outside world.
One has to fit in, in order to survive. It may seem hard at times, but there will always come a time wherein one will have to ask for another person’s help, and vice versa. Keeping a responsibility to be open to any possibilities that can happen to our surroundings is an exercise to a good relationship with yourself. To expect yourself to be useful to others is a sign that you know you deserve that level of reciprocation.
I know that it is very impossible to eradicate situations like these, when one is being ostracized for his/her condition - especially if it is something medical - because they happen on a normal basis, but if you are a parent, you may as well be aware and teach your child that sometimes physical looks can only go so far in this world because we all know that what matters is what’s inside, and that we should seek approval on the better standards that this world has to offer and it is found in helping other people or at the very least, making new friends, building new ties and reconnecting bridges.
aldwin marcus | 
07 8th, 2008| 
